Reflecting

This time last year I’m sure I got on my husband nerves….lol. We agreed that we would go home for Thanksgiving. Due to our vehicle at the time not being reliable to drive long distances we had to rent a car. Typically I’m the one that handles getting the rental when we are traveling. However, this time my husband told me he had it because he had a friend that works at a car rental place that was going to get us a discount. So I left the situation in his hands. Well the friend fell through and we didn’t find out until the day we were supposed to get on the road. Being the amazing wife that I am (LMBO) I was upset and I didn’t hide it at all. In my mind I’m thinking if he would have just allowed me to do it we wouldn’t have been in this mess. (IKR) what every wife thinks. So I’m looking at him like so what are you going to do to? I’m on the phone telling my mother that I may not be home for Thanksgiving and explained the situation. As I reflect this just reminds me of how spoiled I am and that my husband was doing/willing to do everything in his power to make me happy. But also that I easily could have been more understanding and not put that kind pressure on him. Because I’m sure he was probably beating himself up about the situation.

Nevertheless, that was not the case and I couldn’t see past it either. I was bent out of shape about not being with my family and probably freaked out at the thought of not being home with my family for the first time for Thanksgiving. Anyway he had cousin that was coming to Atlanta to pick up someone and they stated that we could ride with them. So we did but that was just to take us part of the way. We made it to our first destination and then we had to wait for his brother to come and get us from Jonesboro, AR. His brother arrives to get us and we stopped in Little Rock, AR because they needed to take a shower. Let’s just say the men wanted to be sure that they were so fresh and so clean, clean (Outkast voice). We depart from Little Rock, AR to head to Texarkana, AR where my family is waiting for our arrival. Bear in mind that we left Atlanta around 11pm and didn’t make it to Texarkana, AR to until like 4 pm or 5. So what should have been a 10hr trip to turn into much more. By the time we got there we ate and fellowshipped for about 2 hours and my mom left to go back to El Dorado, AR. Although I enjoyed the short time spent with my family and I appreciate my husband efforts to make sure that I was able to spend Thanksgiving with my family. I can’t help but think that I went through all that trouble to get home. When he and I could have stayed in Atlanta and created our own memories and started our own traditions.

So this year I have the heart of thanksgiving. This time last year the thought of staying in Atlanta for Thanksgiving would have resulted in me throwing a tantrum, pouting and probably leaving my husband in Atlanta going home to be with my family to be honest. But I’m here in Atlanta having Thanksgiving with my husband and friends. Even though it’s not what my normal has been for past 32 years of my life it’s a peak of what my future will look like. They do have some similarities. Like the picking of greens although my husband wouldn’t let me pick them with him but I came to understand that is a tradition for him. I slept in the living room which is what I did back home. Waking up every hour to make sure the food on the stove did not burn. That’s a tradition that could have stayed in the past. The sound of love in the kitchen because the person cooking the food is loving every bit of what they are making. Hearing the excitement in their voice when they taste their food and it’s good. There are some new things like my husband listening to his music in his headphones or our Bluetooth speaker shouting to himself. Shouting, “Sing Girl” and “You betta Sing,” as if the artist were in our living room performing live. You just have to be here to understand how funny it is to watch him in action. What I’ve come to realize that change don’t always mean that you are leaving behind people and that you can’t enjoy new things without them. It gives you an opportunity to be creative with bridging some of your old traditions with your new.

Although silent tears may still flow throughout the day. I’m so grateful for my growth and what a difference a year makes. As friends began to arrive, laughter and good conversation fill our home I’m reminded I’m still surround by family. Although we may not share the same DNA they are a reflection of what happens when you let go of comfort. So here’s to new beginnings, new traditions and my new normal.

Happy Thanksgiving.

17 thoughts on “Reflecting

  1. I love this Tasha! Reminds me of self, I wasn’t so fortunate to make it home after living here due to work. I had to make new memories and rituals here with new family and friends! Wow ❤! This is a great start! Be encouraged!

    Like

  2. Loved this, Cuzn! My “normal” ended 5 years ago, and just when I was about to shake back, everything got turned upside yet again last year. Not just the holidays, but in day to day life. I feel like my feet are rooted in quicksand…especially this past week. Thanksgiving and Christmas will never be the same, but I know God doesn’t want us to stop “living”. Gotta keep pushing…create new traditions…life goes on. Thank you for sharing, and keep it going. I needed this. Sorry for the long comment!

    Liked by 1 person

    • No worries comment away……I can relate all to well and understand. I pray with time your feet began to feel like thy’re standing on solid ground again. Yes ma’am it was defientely a struggle in beginning but with time it becomes easier.

      Like

Leave a Reply to Jasmine Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s